jessie

after ng duty ko 7pm straight na ko sa market bbili ng pakwan na malupit tapos uuwi ako at magccarve ng rose na malupit sa watermelon. siguro mga 2hours rin yun, masakit sa likod yun. Anyway pagayos na yung pakwan sasantabi ko muna cia para cool tapos ilalagay ko sa bag yung stuffed toy niya na hndi ko pa napapangalanan tapos mga 11pm alis na ko dito sa bahay para pumunta sa binondo kasi taga don siya, pagdating ko ng 12am tatawag ako sa phone niya para sbhin na nasa harap ako ng bahouse niya

pagkabukas niya ng gate babato ko sakanya yung pakwan, pero joke lang kasi nkatago yung pakwan, may aabot ako letter tapos papabasa ko sknya habang bnbasa nia nilalabas ko na un toy tapos magsspeech at joke daw ako onti tapos lalabas ko na yung pakwan para cool. tapos nngiti cia, ngiti din ako, yun lang naman

dalawang bagay lang ang knakatakot ko mangyari sa surpresang to. 

1. Makatulog siya

2. Baka magang rape ako dun, baka lang naman, we’ll never know

p.s sana di cia makatulog

There’s nothing i want more than to bring her happiness, to make her smile again whole heartedly. I just wish shed see how true my intentions are or maybe she could appreciate what I’d be willing to do just for her, i would go that extra mile even if it hurts. ive never been a pessimist but I think I;’m going downhill with this one, but still i’ll give it a shot.

NEVER LIE, CHEAT NOR STEAL.

If you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love

If you must steal, steal away my sorrow, steal away from bad company

and if you must cheat, please cheat death.

- Future Jessie

I felt it again, that same old feeling everyone strives hard to look for, I felt a couple of nights ago. I don’t wanna be the one only overjoyed but when I am with her i feel the happiest. Just being able to see her let alone the whole idea of me being with her gives me chills. There’s something about the look in her eyes, something I noticed when the light was just right. I’m making this post for no specific reason, i just wanted to let these out because I have no one to share it with.

What would it take for me to be with her? I have no idea if its just mind games she is playing or that’s just her way of coping. She gives me something that doesn’t make me want to give up on her no matter how hard the situation is. If i could i’d only want to make her smile if she wants to stay with me awhile. truthfully I cannot find the words to describe what she does to me. ill publish this cause i know no one’s gonna read it so here goes nothing

Hard to breathe. feels like floating

so full of love, my heart’s exploding

Mouth is dry, hands are shaking

My heart is yours for the taking

Acting weird, not myself,

Dancing around like the Keebler elf

Finally time, for this poor shlub

to know how it feels, to fall in Love

-Mr. Deeds

its so much better in black and white

that blank stare you gave 

didn’t seem that right

i am phasing backwards tonight

watching our memories from side to side

cant seem to tell what its about

about you that makes me sound

remembering what it was to feel

remembering now seemed so surreal

imagine scenes inside my head

pulling this off is by a thread

If only i had that ounce of courage back then, then just maybe things would be in accordance to what i have in mind. But sadly she left and moved on, i just realized that she meant more to me on the very same day i lost her. I took her for granted and i didnt even know it. this makes me feel like im one of the most successful jerks around town.

Melancholy strikes. It found me once again and im engulfed in it, swimming helplessly in this sea of mistakes, wanting but waiting for nothing. its a magical feeling though, that moment in the movies when everyone is in awe and at the same time you are hoping, hoping that somehow it could be like that, that you’re story ends up like in the ones in the big screens but you’re sadly mistaken. This is life, deal with it.